With Tainted Wings
by genKi shouJo
Summary: Ryo can't get along with his father and can't resolve his feelings for Ruki. But when push comes to shove, he learns things about himself he never knew. Ryuki - the final chapter is now up.
1. Circumstances

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, sadly. I just use them.

NOTE: For the sake of this story, let's assume that Ryo is the same age as everyone else and attending the same school as everyone else. And just pretend that Kenta and Kazu don't exist. ^^' Oh, and be warned. There is a lot of swearing in one part.

With Tainted Wings

Ryo bound through the air, laughing with the wind whipping his face. It was physical education, and the males were playing a friendly game of soccer. 

"Pass the damn ball!" a boy screamed.

Okay. Maybe the game seemed hostile, but in truth, it was friendly. Ryo kicked the ball towards Takato, who kicked it forward towards the goal.

  
"Lee!!"  Takato yelled, kicking the ball as hard as he could towards the boy.

"Here goes nothing!" Jenrya kicked the ball with all his force into the net.

The goalie jumped towards the ball but with its incredible speed, the ball hit the net and a whistle was blown.

"YES!" Jenrya cheered. Takato and Ryo ran over to him and everyone gave high fives.

"Good one, Lee," Ryo congratulated, wiping off the sweat.

"Yea. Great!" Takato repeated.

"Aren't they incredible?" Juri remarked, sitting on the side.

Ruki could care less, but for the sake of Juri she replied, "Yea." She glanced over at the three boys, who were dancing around. It seems like they just won the game. "Hoorah…" Ruki mumbled cynically.

"Did you say something?" Juri asked, standing up and brushing dirt off her gym uniform.

"Erm…no," Ruki lied, standing up next to her.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to go congratulate them. Do you want to come with me?" she asked politely.

"Sure. It's not like we're doing anything for our gym period." They walked over to the still rejoicing guys. It wasn't like they never won a game. Ruki smirked at the little things that amazed them.

"Hey, guys," Juri began. "Great game." 

Takato turned red and laughed nervously. "It wasn't anything spectacular…"

Ruki smirked. "Of course it was. You didn't trip and break your neck while kicking a ball. That takes coordination!"

"I have coordination," Ryo declared, winking at Ruki. He coolly wrapped his arm around her shoulders and grinned.

"Oh god," she mumbled, trying to hide the redness that had come onto her cheeks. She pushed his arm off her shoulder and snickered.

It was true that the two had some history, well, a lot of history. First it was rivalry, and then teasing. As the years passed on, teasing developed into puppy love. They went out a couple of times, but Ruki said that it wouldn't work out. Respecting her wishes, Ryo and her stopped dating, but still remained good friends. Ryo's feelings had never died down for her, but he wanted to respect her. So he never asked if she felt the same.

The whistle blew, snapping Ryo out of his train of thought. The group dispersed to go change in the locker room.

"Hey, school's almost over. Do you guys want to go to the arcade with Juri and me?" Takato asked.

"We wouldn't want to intrude on your _date_…" Jenrya joked. Ryo laughed and saw Takato turn red again.

"It…it's not a date," he managed to get out.

"Uh huh…" Ryo nodded. 

"It's not!!" Takato argued.

"Alright," Jenrya said. "We'll come then." 

"I just have to go home for a minute. Then I'll be there," Ryo agreed.

  
"Great!" Takato yelled. "Oh, and Ryo. Invite Ruki."

"ME?" Ryo asked loudly and surprised.

"Sure. You're in her next period class aren't you?" Takato nudged him.

"Yea…well…"

They changed into their regular clothes and headed to their next classes. 

"Then it's set! I'll see you guys later!" Takato said, running off.

"Yea," Lee followed him.

Ryo grunted and ran off. He didn't want to be late - meant consequences and he didn't like those. Next up was math. He made it into the classroom just as the bell rang, practically tumbling in. He found his seat and sat down, right smack behind Ruki. The teacher walked in and began taking attendance. One by one, she called out names, slowly and tediously. Now was the time for Ryo to strike. Quickly, he tore out a piece of notebook paper and hastily scribbled onto it. Then he tossed it onto Ruki's desk, and looked away as if he didn't do anything.

Ruki looked at the crumpled piece of paper on the desk before opening it. 

_Arcade. After school. The whole gang. Can you come?_

Thinking for a moment, Ruki scribbled a response and tossed it at Ryo's head. He smirked and read it.

_Sure. I have nothing better to do._

He grinned and stuffed the paper into his pocket.

The final bell rang and a herd of students stampeded outside. Ryo ran out quickly, wanting to make it to his house and back as quickly as he could. Sprinted, he ran a couple of blocks to the subway station and then road the subway a few more blocks before hiking up the stairs and around another corner. And voi la. He had his house.

Ryo ran inside and set down all his books. There wasn't a lot of homework so there was nothing to worry about. He could do it later. Besides, he was a master at the art of procrastination. Quickly, he scribbled on another piece of paper and posted it on the refrigerator. "Gone out. Be back by dinner. – Ryo" it read.

Just then, the door to his home opened. "Ryo, are you home?"

Screw that note. He crumpled it up and threw it out. "Yea, Dad. What are you doing home so early?" 

"Work ended early," he grunted. "I'm going to go do some work out back. Can you help me run some errands?"

"Um…now's not a good time," he replied, pulling his shoes on.

"Why not?  There are only a few things on the list," his father asked.

"I'm supposed to be hanging out this afternoon."

"You can hang out after you run these errands." There was a hint of anger in his voice.

  
"I'll do it tomorrow! Geez!" Ryo exclaimed.

"Young man, you'll do as I tell you!" 

"Why do I have to do it if it's not convenient for me?!" Ryo yelled back.

"Because you have to learn to separate your priorities and learn to be unselfish!!" Ryo's dad reasoned.

"You know what? Fuck you, Dad!" Ryo yelled. "It's my goddamned life!"

"Don't talk to me like that! I fucking work my ass off to support you and this is the thanks I get?" he screamed.

"Bullshit! You do nothing around here! If Mom were still around…" Ryo began angrily.

"Don't you bring your mother into this!"

"Well it's not my fault you fucking killed her!!" Ryo screamed.

SMACK. 

Ryo held his cheek as his father glared at him, nothing but pure fury in his eyes. "Get out," he snarled.

"Gladly, old man," Ryo answered, running out the door.

Ryo ran quicker than he usual did, away from his house. He and his father were hostile towards each other ever since his mother passed away. It was a car accident, a bad one on a snowy day. The car skidded and hit a pole on the mom's side, instantly killing her. And his father had escaped with cuts, bruises and a few broken bones. The only thing that remained was a scar on the back of his neck. It was all his fault. He was driving. Why wasn't he more careful? Tears sprung to his eyes. He was only seven. Only seven years with his mother – it wasn't enough. It wasn't. 

He stopped for moment to wipe away the tears. Ryo couldn't show up looked like this, all red eyed and angry. "YOU BASTARD!!" he screamed back at his house, letting all his pent up angry slide from his fingers. "GO TO HELL!"

The arcade was filled was kids, mostly from their school. His group was sitting down in the food area. They were talking and eating, laughing and smiling. He walked over and sat down in an empty spot, which just so happened to be next to Ruki. "Hi, everyone. Did you miss me?" Ryo joked, nudging Ruki. She blushed and groaned.

"Hey, Ryo!" Takato greeted, drinking his soda.

"Hello," Juri said.

He smiled and relaxed. With his friends…that was where he belonged. They joked, ate, talked, and played some video games. Before they new it, the sun had set and the streetlights were about to light up.

"Well, it was fun. I'll see you all at school tomorrow," Ryo said, leaving. They all said their good byes before leaving. 

Ryo walked home from the arcade, since it was only around 2 blocks away from his house. The streets were dark, though, even with the lights. He tucked his hands in his pockets and looked up at the dotted sky.

"Hey there, little boy…" a voice hissed from the shadows. "Have any money to donate to this poor man?"

Ryo snickered. He knew who it was. "You moron. You already did this do me before. Trying to mug me?"

Voices growled and emerged from the shadows. A band of disgruntled high school boys, uniforms messed up and alcohol in their breaths. Their steps were staggered and dragged.

Ryo laughed at them, almost pitying them. They got angrier and charged at him.

"You little punk!!" one snarled.

Ryo dodged easily and punched his with his stomach. Another one charged and Ryo kicked him, blood spewing out of his mouth. The leader pulled out a blade and charged. Ryo barely dodged aside, his two lackeys were weighing him down. The blade slashed Ryo's bare flesh on the palm of his hand. He winced for a little bit before tackling him to the ground, despite a height and weight difference.

The three boys were lying on the ground, moaning and rolling in their pain. Ryo snickered and ran off back home. His house was right around the corner, so it wasn't too far away.

Ryo ran up the street and turned the corner, only to see bright lights and a crowd around his house. Confused and surprised, he pushed his way through the crowd and looked around.

"What the heck's going on here?" he asked.

A policeman approached him. "Are you Akiyama Ryo?" he asked.

"Yes…" Ryo raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

"Your father…he's in the hospital."

Ahh – cliffhanger!!!  Sorry, not a lot of Ryuki in here right now but it's coming soon! Please read and review! 


	2. Where Do I Go From Here

DISCLAIMER : Tamers do not belong to me *goes to steal Ryo*…sadly. I just use them for the heck of it.

WARNING!! : I've decided to raise the rating because of the excessive swearing…and an ordeal later on in this chapter. If you are easily offended, please don't read it. Ooh – and there may be OOC…Lots of Ryuki moments in here. 

With Tainted Wings

Chapter 2 : Where Do I Go From Here

"Your father…he's in the hospital."

Ryo stood there, the pain in his palm gone. "What?" 

"He's in the hospital," the policeman repeated again stoically.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he yelled. Ryo rushed past him and ran into the house. "Dad? DAD?! **DAD**?!?! Where are you?!" he called frantically, searching the house.

The policeman came after him, and found Ryo in his father's room, digging through the blankets and sheets like a wild animal. 

"Ryo," the man began, placing his hand on his shoulder. Ryo shrugged him off, not saying anything, but instead, digging. "Ryo, let's go to the hospital. You can see your dad there and then we can explain what happened."

"NO! He's not at the hospital. He's just hiding." Ryo was delusional. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it.

The policeman easily hoisted Ryo off the bed and to his feet. "Ryo! Snap out of it!" 

The hot tears couldn't be held back. They flowed from his eyes down his cheeks, stinging every part of his skin, his soul. "Take me to see him. Please." He said it slowly, the words escaping his dry mouth.

"Of course. C'mon. I'll drive you," the policeman offered kindly. He led him out to the car, pushing away the crowd. 

"I heard that he shot himself," someone said.

"Nah, he stabbed himself to death," another argued.

"No, the aliens came and used their lasers on him!" 

Laughter erupted from a corner, setting off rage in Ryo's mind. "You bastards," he mumbled to them, secretly aiming his middle finger at them. Ryo got into the car and drove away towards the hospital. 

"I'm not positive on what happened, but the neighbors who called the ambulance found him unconscious in the backyard," the policeman said. "The doctors will do everything they can to help your dad."

Ryo looked out at the passing scenery, wiping away the stains the tears left on his face. All he could do was nod. His throat had dried and clamped up too much for any words to come out. He had been such an idiot early today. It was all his fault that his father was in the hospital. All his fault. The drive was short, but seemed like an eternity to him. When they pulled up at the hospital, Ryo sprung out of the car and ran through the parking lot and into the hospital.

"Where's Akiyama Hiroshi?!" he demanded at the counter, practically screaming at the receptionist.

"Calm yourself down, young man," the elderly lady said. She then slowly turned the computer and typed in some things. "Akiyama Hiroshi. Level B, Room 421."

"Thank you," he said, before speeding off towards the elevator.

"Slow down!" the lady yelled out behind him.

Ryo jammed his finger into the up button repeatedly, waiting for the elevator the come. "Hurry up, you blasted piece of shit!" he swore.

Ding. The doors opened and luckily, no one was inside. He rushed in and pressed the button with B on it and waited for the doors to close. They shut and the elevator went up to B, then opened, unleashing Ryo. He ran down the hall, looking for the right room. 435, no…430…no. 426…no…422…no…421. Eureka.

Ryo barged in the door and ran into a rotund nurse. 

"Excuse me. May I help you?" she asked, looking down at him.

"Where is he? Where's my dad?" he looked around her.

"I take it that you're Ryo Akiyama."

"Yes. Yes, I am. Is he okay?" Worry clouded his eyes.

"He's alive, if that's what you mean," she responded. "I'll explain to you outside. Your father needs his rest."

"Okay," he said quietly.

Outside, Ryo sat down on a seat and the nurse sat down next to him. "Let me explain to you what happened. Your neighbors called an ambulance. They said that there was a man lying unconscious in your backyard. When the ambulance got there, he was still out so they brought him here and checked your father. It turns out that he had overdosed on pills. Two bottles in fact. It's a miracle that he was still breathing. We have pumped his stomach, but we aren't expecting anything until the morning."

"It's all my fault…" Ryo whispered, clenching his fists. "It's all my fault he tried to commit suicide."

"Don't say that," she comforted, patting his back. "Your father loved you very much."

"That's why he tried to escape this world through death…" Ryo replied, the tears back in his eyes.

"It was his mentality – it had nothing to do with you, Ryo," she said softly. "Now, you will need a place to stay for the night."

"Can I stay next to my father? I want to watch over him. It's my duty to. Please!" Ryo begged.

"I'm sorry. That's not possible," the nurse said. "He needs to recover. We'll have a nurse check on him every 25 minutes so there's nothing to worry about." 

"I want to! I need to!" Ryo cried. 

"Absolutely not. I'm very sorry," she replied. "Now, do you have a friend in which you can stay with?"

Ryo thought for a moment…only one person came to mind. "Yes." 

"Good. Now, you run along. You can come see him in the morning." The nurse led him back to the lobby, where the policeman sat, reading a magazine.

"Ahem," the nurse cleared her throat.

The policeman looked up and saw that two, and got up. "Is he alright?"

"Yes, both him and his father. Would it be too much to ask if you could bring him to his friend's house?" she asked.

"Of course not. C'mon, Ryo," he said. Ryo nodded and followed him back into the parking lot and into the car. Silence was all there was in the atmosphere, thick and uneasy. The digital clock blazed with neon green 10:30. 

"So…where does this friend of yours live?" he asked. 

"Off of Route 6," he replied simply and quietly.

"Okay," he said, driving down the highway. There were still a lot of cars out at night, their headlights like stars that had fallen to Earth. It all seemed like a blur to Ryo, who's head was drowning. Thoughts, memories, images were all swirling inside his mind. Soon, they drove down Route 6, which was dark and empty, except for the couple of streetlights that barely lit the streets.

"You can stop," Ryo said, in front of the bakery.

  
"Alright." He pulled over and Ryo stepped out of the car, breathing deeply. The policeman rolled down the window and said, "Just come back and give me a sign that I can go, okay?"

Ryo walked into the alleyway, which was shadowed by the tall buildings. He then walked back out into the light and signaled him to go. 

"You take care now," the policeman said. "I'll be back to pick you up at 9:00 tomorrow morning. Then you can go visit your dad. Good night, now."

Ryo nodded subtly, and watched him drive off. Making sure that he had left, Ryo walked back into the alley and scaled the brick wall, climbing over it and into a different street. He then ran down a few blocks and into another alleyway, and then around two corners and down a dark street. The walls surrounded him, sending chills up his spine. And slowly, he reached and dead-end and climbed up another wall. His hands burned from all the rocky walls, especially his cut. It pained him so much that he felt dizzy at times. Ryo hadn't really noticed it until a few minutes ago – he was too busy thinking about his father.

Slowly, he descended on the other side of the wall, but lost his step and grip. His tired body fell with a thud on the grass below. He winced, swearing to himself. 

"Who's there?" a voice hissed in the night. The sound of a door sliding open echoed in Ryo's ears as he looked up.

Ruki.

"I know you're out there," she said, a little louder. Her violet eyes roamed around, her hands placed on her hips.

"Ru…ki," he winced. "Ruki…" he said louder.

"…Ryo??" she said in a surprised tone. "Where are you?"

"Over here," he called.

Ruki followed the voice and walked towards the wall. She then felt her foot kick something.

"Ouch," Ryo said, "stop kicking me."

"Eh?" Ruki said, bending down. "Ryo, what the hell are you doing here?"

He smiled and joked, "Can't I visit my favorite person once in awhile?"

She blushed. "In the middle of the night?"

"Nonsense! It's only like eleven, right?" Ryo said, looking up at the stars and full moon.

"Try, a quarter to one." 

Ryo narrowed his eyes and saw that she was in her pj's – a tee shirt and shorts. "Oh, time sure flies by."

"What's going on??" Ruki asked, standing up. "There's something the matter with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me," he denied.

She narrowed her eyes. "And I suppose that climbing over walls is just one of your daily routines. You know, I could call the cops on you for trespassing," Ruki threatened, turning around and heading back inside.

"Wait. Please, don't," he begged, dragging himself to his feet. "I just…I just need someone I can talk to."

Ruki looked at him for a minute and then turned around and walked back in. "Okay."

Ryo followed her inside to her room. He'd never been there before, and there were times when he wished that he was. She turned on the lights and sat down atop her bed [okay – her sleeping bag thing will be referred to as her bed.] 

"Wouldn't your parents mind that a boy's in your room?" he asked.

"My mom and grandma's gone somewhere up north. To some spa crap."  Silence. "So, what's wrong?" she asked coolly.

"…I…I…need….to use the bathroom," he said.

"Oh brother…" she mocked. "Two doors down."

He walked into the hall and into the bathroom. A tub, toilet, sink…Ryo sighed and leaned on the sink, gazing into the mirror. 

"Ryo Akiyama…" he laughed sardonically. "You're one helluva kid. First, your mother dies and then you run away…run away into the digital world for years and years. And then when you come back, your dad hates you. He wants to fucking kill you." Ryo spoke to himself, eyes still locked with his reflection. He chuckled and placed his palm on the glass. "…But…you got to him first. And you run again. To the other person that you love. And you're going to kill her too." His eyes narrowed as he bent his head down, clenching his fists on the sink. His gash burned. "Not unless you kill yourself first…"

His fist flew into the mirror, shattering the glass into hundreds of shards. It slashed at his neck and face, his arms and clothes. He didn't feel it, even as he saw crimson ambrosia flow freely from his hand. 

"Ryo? RYO?!" Ruki yelled from outside. "What the hell's going on in there?!" she asked. "I'm coming in." Ruki opened the door, which was unlocked and gasped. Ryo was standing in a sea of broken glass, his fist still on the remnants of where the mirror was. "What the hell happened?" She made her way in slowly and carefully towards him. 

Ryo smiled at her and let his hands fall to his side. "Ruki, I love you."

She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him, shock written all over her face. "No…no. You don't. It was just a stupid crush," she managed to choke out.

"Let me prove it to you…then maybe, I'd have a reason worth living…I'd have your love. All of it…" he spoke slowly, moving towards her. She stood there, firm yet dazed.

The bloody mass known as Ryo stopped in front of her and looked at her face. He drew his hand up to her face, getting blood on her cheek. She lurched a bit in surprise but held firm. "Ryo…"

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. "Ruki." His breath was warm on her neck. "Do you love me?"

She didn't respond. She wouldn't respond to him. Something was wrong with him – she was sure of it now.

"Answer me!" he demanded her, grasping her tighter.

"Ryo, you're hurting me," she told him, trying to get out of his grasp. She refused to answer him.

"RUKI, ANSWER ME!!" Ryo yelled it this time, sinking down the floor with her in his arms. "Please…" he begged quietly.

"Ryo, snap out of it!" she told him, still trying to break his grasp. 

"NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER ME!!" he cried, tears beginning to fall from his face. Ryo leaned forward, pinning Ruki under his weight. 

"Ryo! Please! Snap out of-" she began, only to be cut off.

He kissed her, pressing his mouth down with all his pent up emotion onto her mouth. Her eyes widened as reality hit her. One hand rested on her side while the other laid on her stomach. He wouldn't let her go. His hand traveled up her shirt and danced upon her ribs. She couldn't breathe. With one swift and strong movement, she got her hand free and slapped him straight across the face. Ryo fell back and landed on his backside.

"Ryo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ruki wiped her mouth, trying to wipe away the vileness. He remained silent staring up at the ceiling. She walked over to him and pinned him down, wrapping her hands around his collar. She punched him this time. "Tell me!!" she demanded him, her eyes piercing his. 

Tears fell again, this time, from her face. "You're scaring me, Akiyama. I want the old Ryo back. The one that was nice, funny, kind…not some psychotic womanizer!!" she cried, grasping the collar tighter. Her tears splashed onto his face, running down his cheek. "I want to help you," she choked out.

He wanted to cry with her, but the tears wouldn't come out. All he could do was comfort her. And that's what he did. He sat up, wrapped his arms around her gently, and comforted her. 

After the fiasco died down, Ruki told Ryo to stay in her room while she cleaned up the bathroom and got some bandages. He obeyed her, parts of his skin caked with dried blood. He sat down on the floor next to her table. There, laid a piece of nostalgia. A D-ARC. He picked it up and ran his fingers over the screen. He missed it. The escape from reality. One of his best friends. He missed it all.

"Reminiscing?" she asked, standing by the doorway.

"Yea," he said quietly, setting the device down.  

She said nothing after that, but motioned for him to sit down on the floor next to her. Ruki had cloths, bandages, water, and spare clothes. She rolled his sleeves up and wet the cloth in the bin. She then started gently removing all the blood on his arm. Her shirt was stained with his blood, and there was some on her cheek too, he noted. Slowly he turned his head away and stared at the table.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"…I don't want to burden you with my pain." Ryo meant it.

"Bullshit. I can handle it and you know it. Tell me – I want to know," Ruki said, dipping the cloth in water again.

"My dad. He's in the hospital. And it's my fault." 

"Oh…" Ruki mumbled. "I'm so sorry."

He smiled weakly at her. "Don't be. Before I went to the arcade, my dad, he asked me to run an errand for him. I blew up in his face and ran off." She listened to him. "My father and I, we never got along after my mom passed away. It was weird – it was like my mom was the peacemaker. I guess after she got killed, I never forgave my dad. He was driving that day…" his voice wavered.

Ruki remained silent. "I thought it was his fault she died," Ryo clenched his fist. "And today, when I got home, there were policemen and people all around my house. They say he overdosed on some pills. I had gotten him so upset that he tried to kill himself…"

She stopped washing away the blood for a moment and looked up at him. "It's not your fault." He looked at her. "It's not your fault he wanted to take away his own life," she repeated. "His mind was blurry, maybe even unbalanced, and he wanted the easy way out. So he wanted to end it all. It has nothing to do with you!" 

"I upset him. I never respected him! I never even gave him love!" Ryo argued.

"People who wants to kill themselves don't deserve any of that!!" she said, "Can't you see that?"

"No, I can't," he replied.

**SMACK**. She hit him again, anger on her face. "You…you idiot!" she cursed at him. "It was his choice!! Not yours!" Ryo held his cheek. It stung. "Instead of wallowing in your pain, do something to help your dad sort himself out!" He nodded. 

"Sorry for hitting you," she apologized, washing his other arm now.

"Thank you," he said. "It really means a lot to me."

"Anything for a friend."  He smiled warmly and stayed still as she finished washing the blood off. She then handed him an oversized tee shirt and boxers that used to belong to her dad, that is, before he ran off. "Here, you can go change in here. I'll go outside," she said.

Ruki did and waited until he told her she could come back in. He looked funny in all the oversized clothes, but at least he was clean. Finally, she began wrapping bandages around his hand, where he got gashes and cuts. They were red, inflamed even. She put ointment on it and wrapped it tightly with bandages. 

"Thank you again," he said.

"It's okay," she said. "You should go to sleep. It's almost three and you've had one hell of a day. You can use my room," she said, carrying the water outside and dumping it onto the grass.

He laid down on her sleeping bag, breathing deeply. She walked over him to turn off the light.

"Wait," he choked out, wrapping his bandages hand on her ankle. She nearly tripped and fell on him.

"Hn?" she asked.

"Please…"

"Please what?" she asked.

"Stay here with me," Ryo begged quietly.

Surprised, she turned bright red. "Uh…"

"I promise I won't do anything to you. I just want to sleep near someone tonight. For comfort…" he pleaded innocently.

Ruki's heart raced. "I don't know…isn't that something you do when you're married?"

"I just want you to sleep next to me. No sex. No fondling. Nothing like that."

She sighed. He was a good friend, and she was worried about him. What happened if he tried to kill himself in the middle of the night? Slowly, she sank down next to him and inhaled deeply. He opened up the sleeping bag to her. Ruki found herself crawling in next to him into the warmth. She shifted a bit before she got comfortable. Ryo smiled to himself and moved closer to her, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

"Thank you," he whispered for the last time, before drifting to sleep.

"Anything for a…friend…" she said back, drifting to sleep as well.

Ruki awoke to the sound of shuffling and the floorboards creaking. Wearily, she got up and glanced at the clock on her table. A little after eight, it read. She then turned her attention to the boy slipping on his jacket. He had changed back into his other clothes.

"Ryo? Where are you going?" she asked sleepily. 

"Sorry – I didn't mean to wake you. I'm going to see my dad at the hospital."

"Alright. Let me walk you out," she said. Ruki left the warmth of her bed and slipped on a coat and shoes. Her eyes were shadowed with sleepiness

Ryo and Ruki walked through the small garden and towards the doors.

"Thank you for everything." Ryo hugged her.

Ruki was caught off guard yet again. She hugged him back. "Just don't go committing suicide. I want to be the one to kill you…" she whispered.

Ryo chuckled. "Okay. I'll promise you that."

He ran off down the street and turned the corner, out of her sight.

Ryo got back to the bakery a little before nine. The policeman was already there. Thank god he didn't see him climb in through the alleyway. He straightened out his clothes before walking up to the car and knocking on the window.

"Ahh, good morning," the man said, sipping on his coffee.

"Good morning," he responded inaudibly.

"How was your night?"

"…fitful," was all Ryo managed to say. 

The policeman pulled onto Route 6 and began driving back to the hospital. The ride was silent again, and he was glad that he didn't ask about his bandaged hands. Ryo stared outside, his mind set straight once more. He knew what he had to now. They pulled up soon at the hospital. This time, Ryo walked in like a civilized person instead of charging in like a bull. He made his way to his father's room, 421. Inside, he called out to him.

"Dad…it's me." 

No response.

"Dad?" he called again, walking further in. 

With one swift move, he pushed the curtain aside and stared at the empty bed. A hand fell upon his shoulder and Ryo looked up at the man's face. Ryo covered his ears and cried.

Okay – this was an odd chapter. But it will make sense in the next chapter. The next chapter may possibly be the last one. Read, review. Enjoy. 


	3. Goodbye Is Never Forever

I'm not really sure how Japanese funerals go – forgive me. This is a Western one mixed in with some Asian tradition I did at someone's funeral. Enjoy the finale.

With Wings Tainted

Chapter 3 : Goodbye Is Never Forever  
  


A small boy ran through the emerald fields dancing in the warm breeze. His arms were outstretched towards the heavens, laughter echoing through the air. 

"It's so nice out!!" he chimed. "Mommy, Daddy!" 

A young couple walked behind him, hand in hand, heart with heart. They smiled at the little boy and urged him to go play instead of sticking close to the parents. He smiled and ran further into the field, the glistening sunlight in his brown hair. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a winged creature fluttering gently in the breeze. Infatuated, he ran after the creature, trying to catch it within his hands.

"Wait!" he called after it, leaping forward and leaping for it. The winged thing evaded his clumsy hands and continued flying away. He chased it hopelessly, not once able to capture it.

Suddenly, he saw another one fly by, next to the original one. "Two!" he cried excitedly, trying to get one of them. It then slowed down and flew onto a blade of grass, tucking its gossamer wings in.

The little boy tried sneaking up behind it, and then jumped at it, his moment to attack. The animal flew up and away from him. He sat there, upset and on the verge of tears.

"…Ryo," a voice called to him gently. 

  
He looked up and saw his mother, smiling at him, looking at him with warm eyes. "Mommy…" he sniffled.

She picked him up and held him in her arms. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked.

"That thing won't let me hold it!" he cried. 

She giggled and set him back down. Soothing his hair away from his forehead, she whispered to him, "It's called a butterfly. And you have to be gentle with it." Ryo was utterly confused. He didn't know what she meant. "Watch me, okay?" she told him. 

His mother moved calmly through the grass and towards the butterfly resting on a bloom of golden dandelion. She bent down slowly and reached her hand out, hovering it steadily next to the flower. The butterfly's wings twitched a little before the butterfly flew gracefully onto her finger. Ryo stood there, excitement washing through him. Giddy, he ran over to his mother and grinned. She had cupped her hands around the butterfly and smiled.

"Wow! You caught one, Mommy!" he said. "Can I see it? Can I? Can I?" he asked.

"Sh…" she quieted him down. "You have to be gentle. Everything should be dealt with in a gentle manner." 

His mom kneeled on the grass and slowly opened her hands up to reveal a butterfly in all its glory. Its wings were black and orange – a monarch.

His smile widened as he looked at it. "Can we keep it?" he asked, 

She chuckled lightly. "Ryo, it wants to go back to its home. We can't keep it," she told him. She thrust her palms up towards the sky, signaling the butterfly to continue on its path.

"It looks like a fairy…" he said dreamily, gazing up as it flew away. "Will it ever come back?"

She then looked down at Ryo. "My little boy." Her voice seemed like a song. "Of course it will come back one day. You just have to be gentle…"

He smiled to himself. "I promise!"

When Ryo awoke that morning, the sun was out and shining like there was no tomorrow. How ironic that such a beautiful day would serve as the day of a wake and funeral. Ryo stayed in bed for a moment, contemplating a memory from the past and sighed.

"Now…now the dream comes to me. After I've ruined the lives of the two most important people to me…" he mumbled angrily. "Damn it!" He bunched up his sheets and laid his head down on the pillow again, staring at the white ceiling. "God…you're a cruel man." Rolling over, he buried his head in his pillow and closed his eyes. And then, he felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He let himself finish his cry before he reluctantly getting out of bed. He had to get ready, although he would never be ready.

He took a shower, an ice cold one, forcing himself to stay awake instead of running away back into his dreams. After that, he brushed his teeth, and got dressed in a black suit. He didn't eat. In fact, if he did, he was sure it wouldn't stay down for very long. His suit was stiff, and his shoes were too. Ryo wasn't used to being formal – he liked a tee-shirt and jeans. Giving himself one final look in the mirror, he combed his hair and slipped on a jacket. He opened the door, ready to head to a service, but something stopped him. Was it just his fear, or his anxiety? Or maybe it was that he forgot something. Probably, but those weren't it. He turned his head back, resting his eyes on a picture frame.

They were happy.

They were smiling.

Ryo walked towards the portrait and stared, as if he had never seen it before. A family photo hung on the wall, one that was taken by his father. He had timed the camera at that field, and everyone gathered in front of the camera. It was the end of a wonderful day. Everyone was actually happy. Ryo looked up, sentiment clogging his throat. Slowly, he touched the picture, his hand resting on the portrait.

"Ryo…" a voice spoke slowly.

He turned his head towards the door. "Ruki."

"It's time, Ryo," she said quietly. She wore all black as well. "Are you alright?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes," he managed to speak.

"Do you need time alone? I can wait for you outside," she offered.

"It's okay. I was just…thinking. That's all." He forced a smile, and slipped on his coat. She stood there, watching his every move, sensing every ounce of pain. She almost cried – for pity and for her own helplessness to do anything for him. They walked in each other's company to the funeral home. He didn't want to be cooped up in a car, not today. The funeral home was barren, a couple of cars in the parking lot – probably from the workers. Ryo and Ruki walked in, looking around at all the flowers placed around the reception, and the thick atmosphere of the place. His stomach churned as he looked up and saw a room with a sign reading "Akiyama H." over it. 

She held onto his hand, feeling it tighten around her own grip. He was strong. She looked up at his face. Worry. Sorrow. Pain. It was all there. It was contagious, she noted, feeling her own heart clench her chest. They entered the room, where a coffin laid open, exposing a pale corpse. 

Ryo cried, the tears spilling again. He didn't know how much he cried in the past week. He'd lost count. The sight of the being laying there, lifeless, was too much for him to handle. And it was his father, the man who had giving him life, the man who was there to support him, the man who…loved him. Ryo fell to the ground, clutching Ruki's hand, and watching his father through blurry eyes. She stood there, trying to hold in her emotion, trying to act strong. But tears have their way of escaping.

She kneeled down next to Ryo, and held him, just like he did to her a few nights ago. He felt warm inside when she had him in her arms and it bitterly clashed with the icy pain that stabbed at him. 

"I was such a little brat," he sobbed quietly.

Ruki could only wrap her arms around him tighter. "You weren't. You aren't." She wanted to break down and cry herself, but she needed to be strong for him.

"I always argued, swore. I was ready to attack him," he confessed. "I… I never meant for it to be serious though…"

Ruki helped Ryo into a seat and rocked him gently, whispering that he was in a better place and that it wasn't his fault. The tears only seemed to fall harder. Hours passed, and he didn't stop his sobs. Numerous people came to the funeral, offering condolences and their prayers for him. Ryo choked back his cries long enough to thank those who had come to honor his father. 

"Mr. Akiyama," a man spoke. "It's almost time…"

Ryo's eyes widened – it was too soon. He got up and wearily wandered over to the casket that held his father's mortal body. Shivers ran up his back, disbelief swarming in his mind. His body was so stiff, so pale, so alien. 

"Father…" Ryo mumbled, feeling the burning tears returning. "I'm so sorry," he chanted over and over. "I never thought you'd be gone so soon. I had assumed that I'd be the one that killed you," he said, an ironic smile plaguing his face. "Hey, Dad? I'll make you a deal. If you take care of Mom in heaven, I'll become a better person. I'll change the world for the better. I'll become the man you wanted me to be. Okay?" Ryo wiped the tears with his sleeve. "Sleep well."

Ryo placed his hand on his father's and held on.

The sun had already painted the horizon with a mix of oranges and yellows. Hours ago, the funeral had ended and everyone had left. Ryo hadn't gone home but instead, the seaside. The waves washed upon the shores, only to recede back into the endless sea, over and over. An endless cycle just like life and death. Ryo watched over the sea from atop a grassy ledge far from the city. The seagulls called out for one another in the sky, circling around like a dream catcher. He sighed, before laying down in the tall grass and letting his eyes close. He opened his eyes again minutes later, hoping that everything was a dream. One big joke. An illusion.

Nothing had changed. 

He rolled up the sleeves to his button up and sat up, looking back over the sea once more. How he'd love to loose himself in its vast intensity. 

_Ryo_.

His head snapped up as he looked around. "Who's here?"

Silence.

A winged angel flew aimlessly from flower to flower. A butterfly. He felt the nostalgia flood back into him, memories of his family. He walked gently over towards the dandelion it rested on, its gossamer wings tucked back. 

Gently. Gently, he thought.

Slowly he cupped his hands around the flower and the butterfly. He smiled gently and looked at its fragile body.

"Ryo," a voice called from the other end. 

He looked over. "Ruki…" he whispered, walking towards her almost instinctively.

She wore a summer dress, a very rare thing to see. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and her eyes seemed red and poofy from crying. "I've been looking for you," she told him as he stood inches away from her.

"… I was thinking," he told her. 

"About what?"

"The past. The future. Now," he responded again. "Give me your hands."

She obeyed and raised her palms in front of Ryo. He opened up his hands slowly and set thee butterfly into her hands. "It's beautiful," she said quietly, in awe over such a small creature.

"Yes," he agreed, almost breathing the word. "It's from my mother and father." She looked at him with curious eyes. "They sent it from heaven." His eyes wandered back out towards the sea and he smiled. "They're telling me to remember the past, but to grow and experience the future. I know it…"

Ruki smiled too and set the faerie free, letting it be taken by the breeze. "Come on. Let's go," she spoke softly.

He nodded and held onto her hand. He knew that one day he would see them again, not for a long while though.

  
But during that long wait, he would have Ruki there by his side. 

End.

Oh wow – I haven't updated in awhile ^^;; All thanks to school – but now it's done and I'm updated! =D I hope you enjoyed this story – I had fun writing it =) Please tell me how you liked it ^_^


End file.
